Five years on...

Tomorrow marks five years since I lost my best friend, my soul mate, my teacher, my lover... my whole world. Its been more than five years since I saw his beautiful face alive, heard his voice and laughed along with his big belly laugh that I loved so much. He was away, working overseas when he died. He died in what was said to me later to be the lonliest place on earth. He died away from me, away from his family and away from his friends.

I wanted to write something about what an amazing human he was, how he affected my life so positively. But all I can think right now is how much I miss him. I am who I am because he was in my life for 6 years, I am who I am because he died five years ago. I would give up everything I have just to see him again and have the chance to say goodbye. But I can't do that.

In life he gave me confidence in myself, knowledge and the thirst for further knowledge, experience and he showed me what true and unconditional love is. In death he gave me the strength and courage to deal with anything and endless determination to get what I want out of life.

I love you so much, a part of my heart is and will always be yours, I will never forget you but you no longer have to watch over me. Your spirit can rest now. Finally I can say I am at peace.